(Source: preyhound)

Anonymous said: Allergies. Conspiracy from the weather channel or punishment from God?

There are a lot of theories on where allergies come from, but most hinge upon the generally accepted idea that allergies are God’s punishment to nerds. 

For years scientist believed that God created allergies in retaliation to a nerd who kept referring to basketball as “barsketball” and when corrected claiming that he couldn’t hear the difference, but modern science tends to the view that it’s more complicated that that.

Some extreme scientist believe that, when it comes to allergies to pollen, that this is just a side effect of most nerds, to some degree, being allergic to sex, as pollen is basically plant sperm.

As far as the idea of it being a conspiracy goes, there is no evidence that allergies the weather channel is behind it. However they are behind many other conspiracies, including, but not limited to the fact that you never seem to hear about acid rain anymore. 

Anonymous said: do you itch your bum?

We’re all humans.

Anonymous said: If you never grew another inch, would you be satisfied with your present height?

Oof. No.

Preyhound Scenes 1-6

preyhound:

PreyHound scene one (written by Rob Crean)

SCENE: late night, a greyhound race track. We see people in the ticket booths and concession stands cleaning up for the night. We see the track, the automatic sprinklers go on, and the “rabbit” goes in reverse to the beginning of the course. We see the…

Anonymous said: Who's pickle is who's?

A more important question is which pickle are you? 

Are you a Bread and Butter pickle?

Bread and Butters are sensitive but indecisive. Real horndogs, but lack the panache to seal the deal.

Are you a Polish pickle?

Strong and reserved, but volatile and unpredictable, Polishes are equally comfortable heading up a PTA meeting as they are eating a comically oversized sandwich.

Are you a Gherkin?

Gherkin’s are old souls, wise investors and sloppy eaters. A Gherkin will look into your eyes and you’ll feel your soul getting all soapy. Don’t cross a Gherk though, for they never forget a betrayal or a PIN number. 

Are you a Cornichon?

Cornichon’s are small in stature, but mighty in wisdom. Good listeners who enjoy card games and salad greens. A cornichon is the president of keeping it real and the ambassador of gas stations. Please a cornichorn and you may just find yourself pleased.

Are you a Kosher Dill

K.D.s are natural born leaders, inspirational to behold and dangerous to cross. A loyal friend or a bitter enemy, a Kosher Dill is as wise as Soloman and as strong as Shaq. K-Dills don’t take guff, wooden nickels or poor excuses. 

 

Anonymous said: Why don't you answer my questions in a more timely manner?

I’m very busy! I plan to get to all of them though. 

This is a song Zach Sherwin made for us a long time ago. 

Anonymous said: Do you consider yourself a "bronie"? (A male fan of the series, "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.")

No, though the other day I did spend over an hour looking up photos of Strawberry Shortcake figures.  There were some later generation versions that I hate.  

http://www.notshallow.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Sour-Grapes-Purple-Pie-Man1.jpg

Anonymous said: Why not try a hamburger just this once?

I’ve had hamburgers, just not recently.  Not for me really.  I stopped eating red meat when I was about 13, but continued to eat chicken until I was 17 or 18. If I was going to eat meat now, I’d probably go with fish, but I probably won’t.